How to win back your husband and lift your marriage

It was your whole world and now it’s gone. Whoever was to blame, you feel you have lost it and you don’t know how to get it back to you. You are separated, divorced or you have simply drifted apart and it seems that the distance between you two is impossible to bridge. Do you want to know what is the best way to win back a husband?

We will start by focusing on the positives. You have to work hard, but first of all you have to acquire the right mindset, otherwise you will never be able to change things.

The signs that he still loves you (even if he doesn’t show it)

When things go wrong in a relationship, it feels like all the good there has been swept away by arguments, anger, and sadness. But if you got married, there was a reason. That deep bond that has been created and those powerful feelings don’t evaporate overnight. It’s all still there. If you can focus on good feelings instead of bad ones, you can nurture them and make them grow.

Remember that the absence of these signs does not mean that he has stopped loving you. Each couple is different.

He still does certain little things

A sign that something still feels is that it continues to do certain little things for you. Those annoying habits of his that you managed to get him to give up, like leaving his socks on the floor or the cap of toothpaste. You made him understand that they were important so he tried to please you.

Often, with the end of love, there is no longer the will to engage in these small gestures. But if he still maintains these good habits despite your problems, he does it for love, whether he is aware of them or not.

He needs you

He still relies on you to get help. If he keeps asking you for help, advice and support even though you are separated, it means that he still trusts and needs you in his life. These are the foundations of love. Often the breakup means that he is going to try and do everything himself, so if he still comes to ask you for help, that’s a great sign.

It is always around you

This type of conflict causes people to seek solitude. If he keeps circling around you, making excuses to see you or showing up unannounced, it’s because he wants to be with you. This is a sure sign that love is still there. It doesn’t matter if he behaves coldly, his presence speaks for itself.

Gets angry

It seems counterintuitive but love and hate are two sides of the same coin. If he gets angry about little things, argues, and sulks you, it could mean that he still feels something.

The fact that he takes things badly means that he really cares; it is often easier for men to fight and get angry than to face the fact that they are still fond of a woman.

Small nonsense fights are his way of grabbing attention and making you talk to him without losing face.

Rebuilding the marriage

You have to rebuild the marriage. Being separated right now is actually an advantage. It is a much more advantageous condition than when you were still in the same place fighting all the time.

In this way you have the opportunity to relax and redefine wishes and needs to satisfy each other. If you can resolve some of the tensionsthe that have brought you to this point and start dating again, then you can build new behavior models, valid for both of you even as a couple.

But first we need to focus on managing your time apart.

Let’s start with how you view the matter: Have you lost your husband and want him to return?

Wrong.

He’s the one who lost you!

A simple semantic trick is the key to getting your husband back after he’s gone. It’s about your attitude, how you deal with the situation. Don’t waste time thinking that you have lost it and you need to “get it back”. Turn the concept upside down and look at it backwards – actually it is he who has lost you, and he needs to win you back.

In this case, do we recommend reading the Divorce book? No Thanks by Alessandro Vigini. In his book, the author explains precisely what are the attitudes that you must try to have to make him miss you and make sure that he comes back to you as soon as possible.

We are not telling you to just sit at home with the curtains drawn, to leave the whole world out, cry and lose your mind, until a change in mindset brings it back. It will take a lot of work to save the marriage and it is possible that it will end in failure. But it can be done. And the path to reunion and reconciliation begins by changing the mindset.

Your breakup, whether it’s a pause for reflection, a temporary separation, or a complete divorce, has great power. A power that you want to reduce as much as possible to focus on what you need to do to heal the wound.

Coping with separation if you want to get your husband back

Being away from him is painful, you have built a life together, which is now destroyed and he is not there, you can no longer rely on him.

Try to consider this experience as a gift. Take advantage of this to clear your mind and let the turbulent emotions calm down. In this first phase it is essential not to move away from him but to try to understand the real reason for the breakup.

It’s time for some serious reflection

During this quiet time, some serious reflection is needed.

First of all, you need to take your time to figure out if you really want your husband to come back. There is no point in starting the difficult path of reconquest only to discover that it is not what you really want. Better figure it out first.

At first, you will feel like you are so depressed and unhappy that you are willing to do anything to get your husband back.

But giving yourself a quiet time with limited contact with him will give you a chance to calm the hurricane of anger and unhappiness inside.

Your thoughts will have a chance to manifest more clearly. At this time, it is not possible to have a sincere dialogue with yourself because you are in a storm of sadness.

During this period of emotional and mental separation, a good way to understand if you still want it is to meditate quietly once a day, even if only for five minutes.

You can also write a list each day on a piece of paper, a list of positive and negative things about your marriage and your husband. If you make this kind of list once a day, by the end of a week or two you will have a clearer idea of ​​what you really want.

If you decide, after all this thinking, that you still want it, then here’s how to go about it: keep your attention only on yourself.

Analyze carefully

Think about the ways you contributed to the breakup, or the character traits, such as bad temper or laziness, that created friction in your relationship.

You may particularly want to work on changing some negative traits about yourself, such as a bad temper. Take an anger management class at your local or community hospital, for example.

Enjoy life again

Even more important is to focus on learning new things, positive experiences and the enjoyment of life. Forget about your husband for a while and sign up for a course – learn a new language, paint or play a musical instrument, take a French, Italian or Chinese cooking class, learn to kayak or sail.

Read some interesting books, join some reading groups. Sign up at the gym and when you arrive, don’t train alone, swim in the pool or lift weights endlessly with the earbuds securely attached, so that no one talks to you.

Instead, join a class at your gym, indoor cycling or hip hop dance or boxing or cardio group exercise, in short, something where you can meet other people and suffer together.

Social interaction is key in this moment, it is necessary to meet and spend time with other human beings. In a language course or reading group, you will meet and interact with other people, which will remind you that you are capable of being happy, having fun and enjoying life even without your husband.

Don’t be a victim

After some time, after going out and meditating, after meeting new people and living your life, you will have become much more interesting and attractive. Don’t sit back and cry that your only chance to be happy is in the return of your husband.

Don’t hang around and wallow in victimhood, which isn’t a very attractive thing. Instead, you will have new experiences to talk about and laugh about and make new and interesting friends.

Rebuilding yourself in this way will not only teach you that you can change your life and find happiness with or without a husband, but it will also give you a better chance of winning him back. When the two of you start meeting and communicating again, he won’t see you as one hiding from the world and crying. Instead, he will see a lively, sociable and intellectual woman. This is the key to attract and win him back.

Let it go and focus on yourself. Even if she doesn’t come back, you have a better chance of meeting an interesting new partner by working on yourself.