I started a new life, probably a thousand times about my lifestyle. From Monday. From the new school year. From the first of
Usually, it boiled down to the fact that I made myself a beautiful action plan and a straightforward daily routine and hung them in a prominent place, from where they quietly migrated to the trash can after a couple of weeks.
Paradox: I am perfectly aware that there are things in my life that do not suit me, but month after month passes, and nothing changes. What’s stopping me?
This is, if you think about it, the funniest reason. On the one hand, I seem to want my life to become better: of course, it would be great to wear clothes two sizes smaller, to do exciting and responsible work, to have time for everything, to live in a spacious, bright house, speak five languages, ride a horse and play the piano. On the other hand, five years ago, it seems, I wanted the same thing.
Why am I not doing anything? Because I’m scared. When you are afraid that nothing will work out, that you will look stupid, or that your loved ones will ridicule, this is still nothing. But it turns out that success is also terrifying. What if, say, I can’t build a healthy relationship, even if I have a beautiful new figure? Now I have at least some excuse.
If I succeed, it can ruin my relationships with family, work colleagues, and friends. Besides, a bunch of strangers will find out about me, and everyone will criticize me. Of course, it’s much safer not to change anything – at least you will stay with your people.
Remedy: think. If fear is indeed much more vital than desire, perhaps it is not desired at all? Or not you desire? Then it would be more honest to refuse it and stop whining about it. You can also bring fear to the point of absurdity or at least its logical conclusion – what is the worst and worst thing that can happen if you change? What will you do if this happens? When there is a plan of action, it becomes somehow easier.
And one more thing: imagine yourself in a year or ten years. Did you feel worse from the thought that so much time has passed, and things are still there? If so, pull yourself together. Fear, after all, has something wrong with its eyes.
This reason is understandable. Maybe it would be nice to change something, but right now, I don’t want to crawl out from under the covers … Maybe tomorrow? Or in a week? Or from the first of January?
Remedy: do a little. You don’t have to go on a strict diet, run a marathon, and give up everything for the sake of general cleaning. Put the candy back in the box, do a couple of stretching exercises, and put the clothes lying on the chair in the closet. A little bit every day is much better than nothing at all.
To start changing is to admit that I’m not perfect right now. People often defend their lifestyle only out of pride, even if they see something wrong with it, and it is not practical. Question: who am I trying to fool?
Remedy: admit your right to make mistakes or bad behavior. And change the reason for pride – you can be proud of your achievements! Every kilogram lost, or every day I missed a run.
Yes, I also love it when the result is visible right away. Eat a salad leaf at dinner and so that the scales show five kilos less. Or come to a yoga class and be able to tie a knot tomorrow. And yes, I am an adult girl, and I correctly understand that it does not always happen right away.
The remedy: give yourself time. Agree with yourself that, for example, you will run every day for a month, regardless of what the scales show. Or go to dances until the New Year, without missing classes. And then see if you want to stay. It is believed that new habits are developed in a person within 28 days. So let them work out.
Often, when people think of many significant changes, they jump at it all at once. And what is worse, they don’t even know what to grab onto. It seems that the ideal is about the same as before Alpha Centauri, and the desire to do something very quickly fades away.
The cure is to break a big business into smaller stages and come up with a support system. For example, a clear plan: when and what should be done, what resources will be needed (time, money, knowledge, help). Or a reward system: “if in a week, I can net into the lotus position, I will buy myself a branded yoga mat.” Or give yourself a promise to do something that will bring you closer to your goal every day for half an hour.